Author Archive for King_Critter

Random story idea

Published at 1:21 pm on September 6, 2010 in Random Stuff and writing.

Found this in my notes. Wrote it about a year ago, never did anything with it.

Post-future dystopian city. In a state of perpetual gang warfare. The major players are Microsoft, who has bribed most of the government, Apple, who manufacturers various gadgets, and the underground Linux Mafia.

Also making an appearance are the GNU anarchist terrorists, the many faces of 4chan, facebook (system used by the government to track down and spy on everyone), Digg and Reddit (this universe’s version of the Crips and the Bloods) and many, many other other Internet cultures and software fanboys.

This is a place where “Flame War” means something involving napalm. GIMP users do drive-by shootings on Photoshoppers. Zune die-hards break into apple warehouses looking for secret plans to the ultimate mobile media device, only to be wiped out by Apple’s iKill security defences.

Dell manufacturers hunter-killer robots. Though most of their robots run Windows, Dell has begun to preload some of them with Linux. This severely strained their relationship with Microsoft, to the point where Microsoft moved a battalion of troops to the Microsoft/Dell border. In an effort to placate their Ally, Dell launched an advertising campaign with the slogan “Dell recommends Windows: Killer Edition for your Deathbot 9000.”

The Industrial district of the city is is ruins, made that way by the never ending war between Intel and AMD. Tanks and infantry roam the streets. NVidia and ATI fight over the scraps. Giant automated factories are hidden underground, producing deathbot after deathbot. Well known military researcher Gordon Moore predicts that due to the rate of technological advancement, wars will be fought with giant mechs soon. Everyone concurs that this will be awesome.

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My experiments with thermal compound on my EeePC

Published at 12:07 am on September 1, 2010 in Deep Thought, Geeky Stuff and tutorial.

I have an EeePC 1000HE. It’s a nice little netbook, but after multiple times of cracking it open to try and fix the fan, the thermal pads got a bit messed up and stopped transferring heat like they should.

The basic design of this laptop is something like this. On the bottom, there is the hard drive and RAM. Above this is a gap — maybe half an inch, I’m not sure — for airflow. The fan is on this level, on the left side. Due to the design, the fan really only moves the heat from the HDD and RAM. Then comes the motherboard, on which the two main heat generating chips are mounted — the CPU and (I presume, not 100% sure) the GPU.

Off the shelf, there are thermal pads attached to these chips. I’d never actually seen one of these before — they’re kinda like foam or rubber, but with apparently good heat conductivity. The heat sink is simply a large piece of metal that runs under the entire keyboard.

Now, back to my problem: my thermal pads had started to get scungy from dust and other floating particles that had accumulated while the laptop was disassembled. I decided to replace the pads with some thermal gel, in this case Arctic Silver 5.

I ordered a kit from Amazon that included two bottles of cleaning solution and 3.5 grams of Arctic Silver. First off, 3.5 grams is even less then it sounds. Second, don’t bother with the ArctiClean stuff; the first bottle is the same stuff as Goo Gone (lemon scented goop remover) and the second bottle was some sort of alcohol mixture. Thirdly, buy locally if possible, otherwise you’ll be paying $2.50 for the compound and $5.00 for Shipping and Handling. Or you may end up paying lots of money anyway because seriously, it’s a fucking ripoff.

I removed the thermal pads (turns out they peel off nicely) and purified the surface of the chips and heat sink with the cleaning solution. Then I applied a super thin layer (following Arctic Silver’s directions) to the chips, put everything back together, and it worked. Sketchily, though — it seemed cooler then before when at rest, but then is spiked past 70C when I did a stress test. I tried playing Diablo 2, and the laptop auto-shutoff after a few minutes due to overheating.

I cleaned the chips and heat sink (though it actually wasn’t marked, which should have raised some questions) and reapplied the compound, this time using a razor blade to get it nice and smooth. Put it back together, same deal. Checked the forums, found a mention of a 1mm gap between the chips and the heat sink. Ah-ha! No wonder the heat sink wasn’t marked — it hadn’t even touched the compound!

I reopened the case, added a good deal more goop to the chips, evened it out best I could, and then played D2 for a few hours. Success! Well sort of. Temps hover around 60C, which is about the same as before, maybe even 1 or 2 degrees higher.

Lesson learned: if it works, don’t fuck with it.

(I was going to post the “don’t fuck with it” flowchart but while looking through my pics folder I found this, which seem rather appropriate.)
drama lamma

Now, for some half-assed ideas on how to make it MOAR BETTAR. First, replace the heat sink with solid gold. Or silver. Or, more reasonably, copper. While you’re at it, modify the heat sink to dip down further toward the chips, so the metal is actually touching the chips. You’d still need some thermal goop, but less, which methinks would be better.

Also, extend the heat sink into the palm rest, which right now is plastic. I believe some Macbooks do this (apparently making them slightly uncomfortable). You could also make the keyboard metal, and figure out some way of effectively radiating heat through the keys. Or, have keyboard rise up at an angle (it’d have to be way sturdier then it is now) so the heat sink is directly exposed to air. Add a dash of awesome by having some small fans that pop of somewhere to blow directly onto the heat sink, and/or have fins rise from the heat sink to add to the available surface area.

BRB, patent office

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Simple solution to gun-free zones

Published at 7:30 pm on August 25, 2010 in Deep Thought and firearms.

Right now, anyone who owns private property can prohibit people from carrying guns on it. These are known as gun-free zones, and are often marked by signs such a gun inside a circle with a line from it, or a notice citing the particular state law that regulates gun-free zones.

I’ve always been conflicted over this. On one hand, I think you should be able to defend yourself wherever you are. On the other hand, I get that it’s the owner’s right to ban firearms, just as it’s their right to ban people wearing “fuck you” t-shirts or loudly preaching the merits of racial purity.

Today it struck me how to reconcile these two viewpoints, and it’s pretty darn simple: enable the banning of open carrying, leave concealed carrying alone.

To reuse my examples above, stores can’t ban someone from wearing a “fuck you” t-shirt underneath a hoodie, or ban someone from having a quite conversation with their Nazi buddy where no one else can hear them. Likewise, businesses should not be able to ban someone from carrying a firearm (or any other weapon) where it cannot be seen.

Simple, logical, awesome, now gimmie a frigg’n Nobel Prize or something.

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Lost in Blue: sexist game ever?

Published at 7:08 am on July 25, 2010 in Geeky Stuff, Random Stuff, rants and reviews.

No, that isn’t a typo, up there in the title. It really is the most sexist game I’ve ever played, not the sexiest.

The premise, in a nutshell: you are a teenage boy who gets thrown from a cruise liner (or it sinks, it’s not stated either which way). You wake up on a deserted island — but wait! It’s not totally deserted, because who washes up on the beach next door but a teenage girl from the same ship! She’s looking for her glasses, which you promptly step on. Whoops. So, taking her by the hand, you lead her to the conveniently located cave nearby.

She weaves. She feeds the fire. She braids rope. And, of course, she cooks. Here’s how it plays out: you talk to her. She says something like “Hi! How was your day?” or, “Did you hear my stomach growling? ^_^” (the emotion is basically how they drew that bit of artwork.) Then you tell her that it’s time to eat, you hand over all your food, and she says… “I’ll do my best! ^_^” Then while your character sprawls out in front of the fire, she goes over to the corner and cooks your meal.

The girl is useless. She serves an in-game purpose, I understand that, but they could have made her just tiny bit less like an ideal 1930s housewife.

You can take her for a walk outside if you want. There’s no leash, so you’ll have to hold her hand the entire time. Why? Apparently because she doesn’t have her glasses and is therefore completely blind. When you get to a knee-high ledge, your character has to pick her up, swing her around, and set her down. Then he jumps up beside her, takes her hand, and pulls her to her feet. She can’t climb any high ledges, like the boy can, and she can’t wade through swamp (maybe it’ll ruin her dress? Who knows!).

In short, she’s useless. And because of the game designer’s half hearted attempts at a plot, it’s hard to ignore her simpering brainlessness.

Dear game developers (and while I’m at it, Hollywood execs): we need more female heroes. Real heroes. Not a damsel in distress, not a love interest, not pure sex appeal. Heroes.

Thank you, that is all.

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I shot JFK

Published at 1:16 am on June 5, 2010 in Deep Thought and rants.

To many people, the words “JFK assassination” are almost synonymous with “conspiracy.” The event and the aftermath sparked off a debate that continues to this day, and has been the subject of many books, research papers, and a few movies. It’s also been referenced in countless works of fiction. For example, in Alan Moore’s famous Watchmen comic book series, it’s strongly suggested that one of the main characters was the shooter on the grassy knoll.

Though the Warren commission determined that there was only one shooter, many alternate theories postulate a second gunman, firing from either the grassy knoll or the Dal-Tex Building, across from the School Book Depository, or somewhere else entirely. It appears to me that the reason for the popularity of these theories is a basic unwillingness to believe that Oswald could have made the shots he did in that time span. I decided to test that out myself.

First I looked up the timespan. To my surprise, it has yet to be conclusively narrowed down. It’s estimated at 4.8 to over 7 seconds. I decided to use the lower number as a benchmark. I don’t have a Carcano rifle like Oswald, so I had to make do with a bolt-action .22 rifle.

My first test was seeing if I could fire three shots in under 4.8 seconds. I stood about 80 feet from my target, a 9×11 piece of paper. I was using an un-scoped .22. I performed the test three times, the first two standing, the final one kneeling, using a wooden bench rest (much like the window sill Oswald probably used).

First result: 2 out of 3 hits (same as Oswald) in 3.14 seconds. Second result was 2/3 in 3.2. Third and final result was 3/3 in 3.6 second.

I now knew that the firing speed, at least, was easily doable. But what about accuracy?

For the next test, I set up 3 targets at 250 feet. The targets were 2x4s, about 8 inches long, standing vertically. I used the same .22 rifle as before, only this time with a 9X magnification scope. I used the same wooden bench as before for a rest. The result was 2 hits out of 3 shots in 5.2 seconds.

I realize there are problems with this test, due to my inability to rent a sixth floor snipers nest and a moving target. However, these things are trivial. The fact of the matter is that accurate, rapid fire can be achieved with a bolt action. I may not convince anyone else, but I’ve surely convinced myself: Oswald acted alone, and anyone who says otherwise is just trying to make things more complicated than they really are.

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Consistency vs. Customization

Published at 9:53 pm on May 17, 2010 in Deep Thought.

Sometime in between now and becoming Emperor of the Americas (something I will detail at a later date) I want to start a cafe. Not just any cafe, but a robotic cafe. Food prepared by a robotic assembly line. Yes, that would be just as awesome as it sounds.

The title of this post — Consistency vs. Customization — comes from a thought I had today. McDonalds, or any other fast food franchise, is an excellent example of consistency. No matter where you go, a happy meal is going to be a happy meal: 97% identical to any other (and yes, I pulled that statistic out of my ass). But say you want mayonnaise instead of ketchup, or pepper jack cheese instead of cheddar? Tough luck.

A local cafe that I love — Cafe 103 — is the perfect example of customization. They have a menu, but nothing is set in stone. If they have the ingredients, they will make it for you. My usual order is for a Strawberry smoothie spiked with grape zip-fizz, soy milk instead of regular (because I’m kinda lactose intolerant) lightly blended so its so thick I have to eat it with a spoon. And no whip cream. My cheese burger is pretty normal, with the exception of pepper jack cheese. That, my friends, is what you get when you live by the motto “The customer is always right.”

Of course, this customization has a downside: very little consistency. I don’t know how many ways there are to fry a burger or mix a smoothie, but I think I’ve nearly collected the entire set.

Enter, stage left: machine precision. You walk in; you go to a touchscreen. You select you basic meal, then customize it to your heart’s content. The interface would be very friendly and easy to use, while still offering fine grained control. It would also show you a live calorie count and other nutritional information. Then, after you’re done, you can could save your design so that the next time you came in your perfect meal would be just a few button presses away.

Once you submit your order, the robots would get to work: frying, slicing, dicing, shredding, blending, baking, pouring soda pop. This would all take place under clear glass, so you could watch your food move down the line.

I would make millions, I’m sure.

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A bit of fiction…

Published at 10:09 pm on April 20, 2010 in writing.

Wrote this a while back, while testing out Write or Die.

“This sucks,” thought James, as he blew the head off yet another zombie.

It had all started two days ago, when Obama’s health-care plan took a turn for the worse and started bringing the dead back to life. The country — perhaps even the world — was completely overrun. Only small pockets of survivors were left, like the one James was with. But they were close to the end, having run low on all their supplies. Including bullets, James was reminded as he reached for a shotgun shell but only touched air. He swore, dropped the shotgun, and drew his Mateba Auto Revolver.

The survivors were holed up in a coffee shop — not Starbucks, because even in the middle of a zombie apocalypse none of them were that desperate. No, this was a small, independent place called Coffee of Doom. The proprietor had succumbed to the infection a few hours back — and, as she was the only one who knew how to work the fancy coffee machines, they were almost out of caffeine.

James was standing near the window — or, rather, where the window used to be. Floor to ceiling glass walls don’t last very long around the undead. Speaking of which, another zombie appeared across the street, howled, and charged. James sighted his .45 calibre weapon, squeezed the triger gently. The monsters head exploded.

“If only they were Romero zombies,” James wished for the thousandth time. “But no, that Zack fucker had to go and do a remake…”

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How-to: WPA/TKIP on Linux

Published at 6:58 pm on April 14, 2010 in Geeky Stuff and tutorial.

It’s simpler then you think. Yes, it involves wpa_suplicant, but you don’t have to edit any config files or try to decipher the wpa_supplicant command that involves a dozen random, mandatory arguments.

First, install wpa_gui. It should be in your repositories (might have to look under “wpagui” — without the underscore). Run it. If it says something like “could not get status from wpa_supplicant” continue on. Otherwise, awesome! The program is a bit non-standard in it’s interface, but it’s really not as terrible as it may seem. Just hit “scan,” double click the network you want, edit the information with everything needed, then hit “add.” Should connect automatically after that.

To get wpa_suplicant configured right, it’s easiest to install ceni. This is a tool created by the sidux developers as a replacement tool for Network Manager. There’s a deb and source-code in the directory I linked, so it shouldn’t be too hard. Though it was created for a Debian-based distro, I’m confident that it’ll work anywhere. (Note: it’s a curses app — console based, but not command line.)

Once you get it installed, run it. If it freezes your system for ~30 seconds, don’t freak. It does that me, too. Dunno why.

Select your wireless card when prompted, then select reconfigure, then roaming. Then hit the continue (shouldn’t need to change the default options) and… ta-da! wpa_gui should work just fine. ^_^

Any problems/suggestions, feel free to comment.

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Side mount scope on a Marlin 80

Published at 8:39 pm on April 11, 2010 in Random Stuff and firearms.

Do a Google search for “side mount scope” and you get absolute shit results. “Marlin 80 side mount scope?” Forget about it. So to anybody looking for information, here you go.

Who this applies to: anyone who has a rifle with rail mounting holes on the side of the rifle rather then the top. Like my Marlin 80. You need a Weaver side mount (this page also has a complete list of applicable firearms) and a ring mount. I have the shorter one; the longer one is, I guess, for really long scopes.

You put the weaver side mount on — which is really just a riser with two screw holes in it — then onto that, you mount the rings. Then you stick the scope on and you’re done! And yes, the scope is in the same place as normal — when I was looking at the pictures of the parts, I couldn’t quite figure it out and was imagining the scope sticking out from the side or something. Happily, that is not the case.

One thing to note is that at least with my rifle, the scope was so low the bolt handle can interfere with the power adjustment knob on the scope if you’re not careful. One way to fix this might be to weld/glue/magik on a wee little bit of metal to the base of the bolt handle, which would remove the extra play it has and eliminate any possibility of the handle touching the scope.

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Global Gun Control? Probably not, but keep an eye out…

Published at 3:30 pm on March 22, 2010 in Deep Thought and firearms.

Uzi

The oft-maligned Uzi. It’s on my wishlist, even though I have no compelling reason to own one.

Over the past few months I’ve been seeing articles on the UN’s Small Arms Treaty pop up in various places. The articles warned of one world governments, global civilian disarmament, and how Hillary Clinton was the Antichrist.

In other words, I thought, your standard tinfoil hats. Until today, when I actually looked up the treaty, and realized that tinfoil hat types are similar in function to the canaries miners use to have to warn of poisonous gas.

As it turns out, the Small Arms Treaty has yet to be written. However, the group pushing it — Control Arms Campaign — has enough information to get me slightly worried…

Extracted from their FAQ: “…but it would most likely not affect national laws allowing private citizens to be properly licensed to own and lawfully use a firearm in cases where they have a compelling reason to use a firearm and can do so safely.”

No, they’re not taking your guns away. Providing, of course, you have a compelling reason to own them… and something tell me “resisting governmental tyranny” sure as hell won’t cut it.

Of course, things change. The damn treaty isn’t even written, and once it has been the US still needs to sign it — something far from guaranteed. I’m not opposed to the main ideas put forth in the treaty — that is, keeping small arms out the hands of wannabe dictators and warlords — though I do think it’ll do little good. The final version will probably be quite tame and do jack shit about anything, just like the rest of the UN.

But keep an eye out.

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