Should of posted this a long time ago, but whatever: Death Troopers is the worst Star Wars book ever. Well, maybe a close second to the Tales of the Empire (or was it New Republic?) short story collection, which was SO FREAKING BAD I puked all over it. Then quietly put it back on the bookshelf and slipped out of the bookstore. (Slight exaggeration.)
Death Troopers had a lot going for it. Well, ok, just the cover… but the cover alone was enough to make me go blind from the sheer awesomeness of the thing. If I could get that thing as a poster, I would.
And the book even starts alright — the first chapter is pretty creepy. Then the characters open their mouths and it all comes crashing down. On top of bad dialog is the fact that everyone seems to be holding the idiot ball and not noticing when corpses start disappearing and shit. (The whole thing was a terribly contrived way to add suspense. I’m supposed to believe that these zombies are going to sneak around, carefully remaining hidden and avoiding the survivors just in order to… what, inflict psychological harm? Yeah.)
And so then some stuff happens, some people die (not as awesome as it sounds — I think the Lucasfilm people might have edited it down, or the author just sucks) some more stuff happens, and the escape, and everyone lives happily ever after. Mhm. Dawn of the dead this is not.
In summation: could have been so frigg’n awesome. Later on in my life I would not mind funding a low budget indie adaption of this, in the vein of Alien. With the script completely reworked my yours truly, of course.
0 Responses to “Death Troopers sucks.”